Titanium

We all know what its like to have something we don't want to lose. Or I hope that you do. Whether its a friendship or a relationship. Maybe even something material. I have no idea what it is for you, but for me its a relationship. I haven't been able to put my finger on why this one is so damn important to me but it is. And with everything that is going on in world right now,it's slipping away a little at a time. I guessing I've been acting weird and that is the last thing I need right now. But there has been so much regurgitation of my past in the last few days that it's making my head spin. I can't really help the way I'm acting, unless I push it all down. I used to be able to put off a persona like that but after everything that has happened to me and with all I'm dealing with, it makes it very difficult to give off that persona anymore. And honestly I don't want to do that anymore. I've grown as a person and hiding all that I feel hasn't worked for me and I'm learning that.
What has regurgitated itself you may be wondering. Well, if you have read my previous posts you remember "Bob". Well a few days ago I got a message from him and I was surprised. I haven't really ever heard from guys after they decided they didn't want to talk to me or just ignored me to the point I got fed up that I quit trying. I wasn't sure if I was going to message back because I thought maybe he didn't remember who I was and that maybe I was someone new. But I messaged him just to see why he would message me after what had happened. He actually messaged me to apologize for being an ass. And to me that means a lot. To be able to recognize when you've made a mistake and want to make it right means that you are the bigger person. I truly commend him for doing that.  As the conversation went on he asked me what I thought about him when we hung out the few times that we did. I was honest and told him I thought that he was ok and that I enjoyed the conversations that we had. After that I asked him what he thought of me and he said that I was interesting and he liked talking to me. I was taken aback by this statement because I thought that maybe our conversation at dinner that night was what scared him off but apparently not. The conversation ended by him telling me that he missed talking to me and that was different.  I don't know if I'll actually ever hear from him again,  but knowing that he's sorry for what he did is something that feels good. And to know what happened wasn't my fault feels even better. Because when everything happened for a while I thought that it was my fault and that was something I got over after a while but it took time. I won't lie to you all there were a few times when I thought about it, I cried. It made me angry, depressed, and I felt awkward.

I have still be working on what I mentioned in my last post and its coming along.  Should be ready to be start the first segment here soon. 

                          Until Next Time

Bad Weather, Bad Luck

Hey all! Hope your doing well and are enjoying whatever weather it is that your having. I know I'm doing my best to enjoy the rain. Even though it has left me stranded inside for the past three days. About two weeks ago or so after the last snowfall in Iowa I was running late for work and instead of trying to crap the ice off my windshield I decided to just run the wipers over until the ice broke up. Bad idea. Don't do that like ever. My wipers stopped right in the middle of my windshield. Just my lucky day, right.
Well Tuesday I was supposed to go with my dad to get it checked out and I couldn't do that. So i waited until today when there was a break in the weather to get it checked out and they still aren't working so I have no idea what I'm going to do hopefully I can get them up and running and it won't cost me an arm and a leg.

That's all I really have for tonight. I will say I'm working on a pretty big blog that should be posted here soon. But it's such a big topic I may decide to split it up into a multi-segment type posts. I haven't made a final decision but will soon.

                       Until Next Time

April Fool's day...

I have no idea why but I've always hated April Fool's Day. It's some dumb holiday created by God only knows who and basically all you do is trick people and it's wrong. What's the point in it anyways? I have no idea nor do I wanna know. I haven't had an April fools joke played on me in at least 4 years, until today. Granted it wasn't really that funny. Or at least it wasn't until I remembered it was April Fool's Day. But even then it kinda hurt my feelings and not to mention made me cry. I'm not want to admit that I cry but this time I will because I was totally lost and didn't know what to do.  Some things on April Fools are just funny.  Like what my roommate wanted to do to her parents but in a sick way at least it was funny to us. And I guess that's where I come to find the fact that the joke that was played on me was funny to that person at a time. The fact that phone call was needed to clear everything up and remind me it was April fools day kinda killed it. I don't really want to go into great detail about it but I will say he got me good.

So enough about April fools day and onto the rest of my day. So you know the days when you get up and you just feel like putting on makeup and doing your hair especially if your girl not so much if your guy. Well for me that was today. I woke up this morning and was just in a great mood. I felt good I got a pretty picture that woke me up this morning. Thank you by the way. So I got up and watch TV for a little bit and then I have to go to work today so the 2 hours before I had to go to work I was doing hair and makeup. For some that might seem like a long time but when you want perfect waterfall curls about an hour worth of time goes into doing those curls. Then I go to work and I'm in a pretty good mood, actually a really good mood. And I love when people are like "oh Bre your hair look so great today it's so pretty." That's always great. I love compliments I always have and probably always will. Then when a co-worker asked if I was all pretty because I was going out on a date after work, unfortunately I had to say no. But knowing that I look good enough right now to go on date makes me feel really good. It feels amazing to know that my confidence is growing and I'm not all stressed out all the time and then maybe I'll get asked our more often than I have in the past. That makes me feel good.

                       Until Next Time