Wow almost a month since I posted i can't believe that tomorrow I will finally be moving into an apartment. It feels good knowing that I'm not going to have to worry about where I'm sleeping at the end of the day. I'll finally come home to my own bed and that in and of it self I can't wait for. I have been elated these past few days it is seriously unreal. But, and we all knew it was coming because that's just how my life is and its kinda sad because all I want is to know that at the end of the day I get to be happy. And with the argument I so stubbornly started yesterday it didn't happen. For the last couple of months i have been desperately trying to reconnect and also start a relationship with a guy that i worked with and he quit working from the store early in the year. Of course i liked him back then and after he quit i started to slowly get over him and then in August he messaged me and started a conversation with me. At first i tried my hardest to be so standoffish because i didn't want to fall for him again. But he turned that charm on me and once again i was caught up in his web and found myself wanting to see him and be around him again, just to get a taste of his strange and sarcastic humor that I enjoyed so much. Them came the night that i finally saw him for the first time in a while(for that experience see the magic of a Saturday night blog). Well not exactly there was the time i saw him outside of the place where i get pedicures and nothing really happened then because he was working and i was still trying not to fall for him...again. then after that night since then i've seen him only one other time and it was again in the front seat of my car and this time there was no kissing no nothing. Just me stupidly saying that i was going to win like i was playing his game. When in reality im playing my own game against his heart and right now I'm losing. There's a point to this i swear...
So about a month ago i got kicked out of my parents house and all i choose to remember about that night is my friend calling him for me because i was afraid that if he picked up that i would just start crying with no stop. He never answered, and the next day i asked him why and got the typical response anyone would give i didn't know the number so I didn't pick up.
I told him what was going on and he asked if I was ok and if I had a place to stay. I told him the truth and he seemed genuinely concerned about me, which I appreciated and still do. So since he knew about the whole thing with my parents and everything I asked him to help me move once I found a place to live. He said maybe and wanted to know what he would get out of it. I told that we would talk about it but it wasn't going to be anything huge or drastic. So yesterday when i texted him that i was moving tomorrow he said he couldn't because he had class. I understand how important school is to him so i didn't ask him to skip class or anything and said that was fine like meant to be moody and a little understanding at the same time. And he totally blew it out of proportion and said something about not needing permission and stuff then I lost it and snapped and told him everything that has been bugging me and how him being there meant something to me. So i don't know whats going to happen tomorrow if he'll show up or not after reading that text. I don't think so... and I don't even know if i even want him there to help now that he's made me feel so unimportant and like he and i aren't even friends anymore even after it came out of his mouth that we are. I've reached my breaking point with him and if things don't change I won't hesitate to pull the last straw...
So wish me luck for tomorrow and pray i don't hurt myself. And that my sister, her big sister, and myself have a blast at the Breaking Dawn premiere tomorrow night.
Until Next Time
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