Long time since I posted. I just want you all to know that I've been working a lot and really haven't had much time to write. But I finally got some time and I'm using it to let you all know that life right now is a little bit complicated for me. While, this is something I totally brought on myself and thought for awhile that this might actually be what I wanted, the thing is that now that I have what I wanted I'm not enjoying this like I planned.
Growing up I was the shy social butterfly if that makes any sense. I had my little group of friends and we did our thing. When it came down to it most of the time we liked the same guy and wow did that cause ruffles. Most if not all the time, the alpha female personality (not me) would get the attention we all wanted. That left me kinda hurt and I tended to struggle with that self image thing. Thankfully today that has faded and only comes back every once in a while. So needless to say it got to the point where all I wanted was the attention that my friends got from guys. I never did anything drastic and most of the time faded to the background. I watched my friends get the guys every time and patiently waited my turn.
Waited all through middle school and high school. Nothing ever happened now, all of a sudden it's like I have attention coming from every direction. At first I was so excited and was telling all my friends that I had finally started what they like to call "talking" to guys then more guys showed interest. It started getting really old really fast.
And. Now that I think I finally found one that will work well with the kind of relationship I want and mesh with my family and get along with my friends, understand my views, and doesn't mind the lifestyle I choose to live (vegetarian). All these boys (which is exactly what they are) start to show interest. I steer them away but they just don't get it.
So I guess after this whole let out of emotions. What I want to get across is that it's important to go after what you want and that letting people get in the way is not the best thing. If they happen to have the spotlight a lot and you can't seem to get a hold of it, create your own. It's not a simple task but try because it's important for everyone to shine you'll feel better about you. I don't care if it's with boys or school or whatever else there is in this world. Don't let what happen to me happen to you. But, also realize that getting what you what isn't always a good thing. So, I hope my venting and what I've learned can help you.
Until Next Time
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